The Way to a Raging Reader’s Heart 

There are many ways into a bookworm’s obsessive, fangirling little heart. 112% include books. Who would’ve guessed!

There are also things you should never do. These things will cause books to be hurdled at your face. There is a 113% chance that if you do these things you will never go on a date with any reader. Sorry.

Aren’t you glad I’m here to help.

 

  •  Flowers are pathetic. They wilt. They die. But books? As long as you keep them away from heathens, they last forever. Forever. Ergo, give your one true reading love a bouquet of books. I don’t just mean a bunch of books smashed into a gift bag. I mean a bouquet. One arranged and skillfully wrapped, preferably adorned with boxes of chocolates.
  • This is simple, but CRUCIAL: Read their favorite book. It doesn’t matter if you hate it, (But I mean if you actually want to go out with then you’re going to have to fake it) you just have to read it. This might seem meaningless to you, but the ability to discuss fangirl and flail with another will seem monumental to them.
  • A reader’s life is very busy. Firstly, they’ve got actual life which is tremendously inconvenient. Secondly, they’ve got so many books flooding their shelves, many of them yet to be read. Here’s the thing about those shelves—dust happens. No matter how often the said reader goes and reads those books or rearranges those shelves, dust triumphs. Solution? Become a bookshelf-dusting slave. If you’re on a roll you can clean their bathrooms too.
  • And finally, buy them a used bookstore. This might seem a little excessive. It is. But if you’re truly rich in love with this reader of yours, then this is a lovely gesture for Valentine’s Day. Or Christmas. Or their birthday. Or Groundhog’s Day. 

  

  • A reader’s mind revolves around books. That’s sort of the point. Because of this, they have many outlandish bookish ideas, such as a bouquet of book. What should you do? Accept this. Bookworm’s are crazy. We are aware of this. Do not scorn their bookish ideas. Do not mock them. Do not even playfully tease them. Reader’s are skilled at revenge. I say this for your own safety.
  • It doesn’t matter if it’s a priceless book or just from the library, don’t ever damage any book ever. Okay, accidents happen. I may have gotten a little Nutella on some pages once. But never carelessly throw around books like they’re meaningless. Someone spent years to create that masterpiece, and the least you can do is respect it.
  • Dusting books for a reader is great! But do not move a single book. Do not, under any circumstances, reorganize their bookshelf. That’s like reorganizing their brain. Or their heart. Or their large intensitie. It’s painful and unnecessary and DON’T DO IT.
  • 89% of what a reader does revolves around books. So don’t be an idiot and not not take them to a bookstore as a date. Sure, a movie might seem like fun for you. Truth be told, it’ll probably be fine for the reader as well. But a bookstore? That’s magic. 

Look at that! You have all you need in order to woo the reader in your life, and just in time for Valentine’s Day. You’re welcome.

Are you a reader or have you/are you dating one? Are my lists 114% accurate. (Of course they are. Don’t be ridiculous.)

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        35 thoughts on “The Way to a Raging Reader’s Heart 

        1. Ummmm I can’t believe I haven’t commented on this yet, oops! Because seriously, (I doubt you need me to tell you this by now teehee) THIS LIST IS LIFE. OMG. Yes yes. Like, the ‘read their favourite book’ point is ON POINT (excuse my little unintended pun?/word play there lol) because it’s just such a simple way to show you care! Though scratch that, all these points are on point… so basically I APPROVE. XD

        2. THIS LIST IS BASICALLY PERFECT. THAT IS ALL. Plus I think people should just give books all the time. Much better than giving flowers or whatever. Gah. If you get sick: people should give you books. If you reach a milestone: give books. So easy. So wonderful. *ahem*
          And also YESSSS TO READING THEIR FAVOURITE BOOK. It means so so much. Like even just for friends…if you read your friend’s favourite book it really shows you care I think. :’)

          Thanks for stopping by @ Paper Fury!

        3. thanks ❤ and it doesn't matter if fictional characters aren't 'real' right? I mean, I've already married tons of them XD All those perfect guys and girls, forever trapped to my bookshelf *evil cackling*

        4. YES YES!! Yes to all of them! Specially the last one!! I’ve always wanted to go on a date to a book store or even a library. Garenteed I need to have a boyfriend first to do that but yes its been a lifelong dream. *sighs dreamily*

          Loveeee this post! 😀

        5. YOU ARE PERFECT. Never settle for anything less than this list, my friend. HA I BET THE PERSON TO DO ALL THIS IS WILL HERONDALE. Never mind that he’s fictional *nervous cackling*
          If you hadn’t realized already, YOU’RE AWESOME.

        6. Why thank you. Mwahaha, never settle, my friend. Really? I actually love it when people ask me what books are about! I know, I’m weird. But as long as I’m not in the process of reading them (in which case I am slightly irked) I love spreading the news about my favorite books.

        7. I love this! Basically, if you want a reader to fall in love with you, buy them the books they love, spend time in bookstores with them, and read with them. ❤

        8. THIS IS PERFECT. AHHHH, imagine the person to do all this *swoon.* Now, I’m afraid, I’ve sent my expectations. You are right about every single thing in this post. I mean, buying a bookstore? That’s gold XD I am a reader and I can tell you that this post is 114% accurate.

          If you hadn’t realised, I LOVE THIS POST and YOU’RE AWESOME 🙂

        9. That was great! I never thought of a book bouquet, thats pure genius. Now when I meet the right person I’m going to have really high expectations XD A bookstore date seems the best kind of date only I wouldn’t be able to buy a lot of books. I don’t like people watching me buy books and being really annoying to ask about what said books are about.

        10. Your posts always make me laugh, Becca — I love them for that! 😀 This post is absolutely on point and perfect! When (if) I get a boyfriend, the first thing I do is make them read this post (and casually threaten them to follow it). 😉

        11. I was laughing too hard at your list. My boyfriend is also a book lover (albeit a little slower at reading because he’s SUPER busy).. We can talk about a book and argue and theorize and it’s beautiful. Ah, it’s beautiful. Totally accurate, I need to tell him about the bookshelf-dusting slave part. 😉

        12. This is the BEST list!! If I were dating/in a relationship, I’d forward this to my boyfriend in a heartbeat! And what you said about the bookshelf is 1000% true. Do not ever mess with the organizational system of my books! No, just NO! It may not look like there is a system but there is. Mess with it, and I’ll kill you slowly and painfully. Does death by papercut sound like a fun way to die?
          But seriously, best list. I love it. 🙂 ❤

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