{Disclaimer: This post is 89% satire, 24% Disney gifs, 5% seriousness and intelligence. Hahahaha just kidding. We’re all mad here.}
Hi, my name is Becca and I’ve been suffering from Book Commitment Issues (BCI) for ninety-eight years.
But I now know that I’m not alone. Readers across the world are pushing past this disorder, and we can too. But first, you must know if you’ve really got BCI. How can you tell? Not to worry chums, the questionnaire below will certainly shed some light on the subject.
- Discover a beautiful novel at the bookstore, but decide to borrow it from the library rather than buy it, despite your overflowing wallet.
- Take an eon or two before choosing which book to read after an enormous haul.
- Wait until you’re halfway through a book before reluctantly listing it in your Goodreads’ Currently Reading pile.
- Skim through the beginning of several books before deciding which one to dedicate your time to.
If you’ve done one or more of the actions listed above, I’m afraid to tell you, you’ve got BCI. But don’t panic! No panicking necessary! Just follow my step-by-step recovery below.
Congratulations! If you’re reading this post, you’ve already completed step one. You know you’ve got a problem—that you are currently powerless to BCI—and now you’re ready to punch that problem in the face.
Lightly.
Violence is not the answer.
Don’t let BCI control your bookish life!
- Grab book.
- Right now.
- Open book.
- Read book.
- Ignore BCI.
- Finish book.
- Yay.
The road to recovery starts with one book, my friend.
Let’s think back to our questionnaire. It lists all the symptoms of BCI, and so, we must erase them. Once the symptoms are gone, the disorder is gone. I think.
- Go out to a bookstore and buy that book you want. No borrowing. Spend your money! It’s fun!
- Grab a book from your book haul pile, and read it RIGHT FREAKIN’ NOW.
- As soon as you start a book, list it on Goodreads. Commitment is key.
- Start a book, then finish it. Read or do not read, there is no skimming.
You’ve done it! You’ve defeated BCI! And, uh, if you haven’t…um…
Do you suffer from BCI? Not after this post, I hope! Though this post is entirely satirical, ‘Book Commitment Issues’ are still soooooo annoying. How to you cope with it and/or cure it?
Also, which Disney gif is your favorite? I simply can’t decide.
Any other readerly problems you’d like me *pats back* to cure?
Hahahaha that blog post was hilarious, I always LOVE your imagination to do these kind of things. I don’t think I suffer from BCI, but but but…. maybe I do?! It takes me quite some time to decide which book I should read next, I just stare at them for hours before actually choosing something…
Hahaha PARTIALLY. SOME OF THE SYMPTOMS ARE MILD, SOME ARE SERIOUS, AND OTHERS ARE NONEXISTENT. I HAVE PARTIAL BCI.
Of course! XD
Thanks! Absolutely Thanks!
WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER! It is seriously annoying. OMG SAME!! I just want to spend my time on the right book lol.
OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SO SWEET!! So you’re not a BCI sufferer?? soooo lucky 🙂 Thanks for reading!
You sure are lucky! It is, my friend it is. It’s like a reading slump 24/7!! Hahaha thanks! They’re all too cute 🙂
[…] Becca talks about Book Commitment Issues and how to recover […]
Thankfully I’m not suffering from BCI right now, but it’s good that you’re sharing this guide Becca. BCI is a serious problem and it’s great that you want to help people suffering from it *nods* All seriousness aside I love this post 😛 I can’t choose a favourite Disney gif either haha
[…] Becca and Books posted a hilarious satire about how to tell when you have book commitment issues wit… Cameo by Lucy from Peanuts may have sold me there. Who wouldn’t love psychiatric help for five cents? […]
[…] Dr. Becca talks book committment issues and how to cure them! […]
OH MY GOSH I’M DYING THIS IS SO HILARIOUS. Some of these I am TERRIBLE about, and some I am the complete opposite. XD
-Amy
HAHAHA, I’m definitely right there with you!! One time I read the first page of every single unread book on my shelves because I couldn’t decide what to read. And I’m TERRIBLE at updating my CURRENTLY READING shelf 😦
Okay, I thought I was the only one who suffered from these “symptoms” 😉 Great post as always 🙂 Now I’ll have to start adding books to my CR shelf immediately haha 😂
Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!😄