Why You’re Actually in a Relationship With Every Book You’ve Ever Read

 Don’t panic.

Every bookworm had gone through the same process, whether wittingly or unwittingly. It just so happens that this process—reading—is identical to another process you might go through: a relationship. Of the romantic variety. With humans.

I’m linking this up with the book courtship tag because I’m sneaky like that.

  

You were just passing by. You were in a hurry. But then—you see it. Through the bookshop’s window it glows. It’s beautiful. It’s alluring. You don’t just want the book, you need it.

Sound familiar?

  

Darn right it does.
  

Doubt has vanished. Doubt is gone. Now that you’ve read the blurb of that beautiful book—you’re in a trance. You must start reading now, there’s no going back.

Sound familiar?

  

Darn right it does.

  

The words are as beautiful as the cover. They’re charming, they pull you in, they don’t let go. 

Sound familiar?

  

Darn right it does.
  

The first book was good. No—the first book was you heart and soul, your fire and passion. The first date isn’t enough. You need more. You need to read the next book in the series, then the next and the next, you need it to never end.

Sound familiar?

  

Darn right it does.

 
 You can’t sleep. You won’t. You must stay up, reading and devouring. You read more and more, forever in fear of the end. Sleep beckons. You ignore. Again.

Sound familiar?

  

Darn right it does.

  

You can’t stop thinking about the book. You can’t work, you can’t think, you want to read, you must read. This beautiful book has taken over your life.

Sound familiar?

  

Darn right it does.

  

Your mother. Your father. Your sister. Your uncle’s lawyer’s goldfish. You’re introducing this book to everyone, everyone must know. 

Sound familiar?

  

Darn right it does.

 

We all have to move on. It’s time. You put that precious book, that precious series away on the most beautiful spot of your shelf. It takes time. You fall into a reading slump, thinking you’ll never read another book that good. But you will, my friend. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Sound familiar?

  
Darn right it does.

So you’ve been in a relationship with a book. Multiple times. Don’t worry, it’s normal.

Actually, no it’s not. It’s really weird and very fetish-y.

But hey, that’s the life of a bookworm.

Have you ever been in a relationship with a book? (Yes. Denial isn’t healthy.) What was your last book breakup? (The longer the series, the worse it is.)