My Mad Fat Diary | I am 99% Certain That I am British. 

Title: My Mad Fat Diary

Author: Rae Earl

Genre: Young Adult, Memoir

Published: April 19, 2016 by St. Martin’s Griffin (In the USA, anyway) 

Thank you to St. Martin’s Griffin for providing a review copy! This in no way melts away my judgemental, grumpy reviewing skills.

It’s 1989 and Rae is a fat, boy-mad 17-year-old girl, living in Stamford, Lincolnshire with her mum and their deaf white cat in a council house with a mint off-green bath suite and a larder Rae can’t keep away from. This is the hilarious and touching real-life diary she kept during that fateful year – with characters like her evil friend Bethany, Bethany’s besotted boyfriend, and the boys from the grammar school up the road (who have code names like Haddock and Battered Sausage).

My Fat, Mad Teenage Diary evokes a vanished time when Charles and Di are still together, the Berlin wall is up, Kylie is expected to disappear from the charts at any moment and it’s £1 for a Snakebite and Black in the Vaults pub. My Fat, Mad Teenage Diary will appeal to anyone who’s lived through the 1980s. But it will also strike a chord with anyone who’s ever been a confused, lonely teenager who clashes with their mother, takes themselves VERY seriously and has no idea how hilarious they are. 

  
  

  • This book gives SO much perspective. Perspective into living in the 80s, perspective to being bullied and harassed because of your weight, perspective into the world of Rae Earl. And that’s what makes literature so great, the ability to melt into someone’s world and experience it fully. SO YAY TO THIS BOOK FOR THAT!
  • I am 99% certain I am British. This book is set in England. Ergo, I am pleased. I have found my people mates. 

  

  • This book is praised for being raw…I believe it’s a bit too raw. It reads like a diary, a memoir—and that’s what it’s supposed to be, I get it. But I really didn’t enjoy it. The format threw me off. As exciting as Rae Earl’s life is, it’s not exciting enough. It doesn’t have a plot. It didn’t appeal to me. Oops. Sorry.
  • I love those books that inspire you, that make you want to get out there and start a revolution. This…isn’t that book. There’s a big theme of a lack of motivation, and it’s highly infectious. I understand that there was a different purpose. Okay. Cool. That’s great. But I don’t have to like it. It brought me down, actually. That’s not what I need when I read.

  
A noble effort, simply not for me. BUT BONUS POINTS FOR THE BRITISH THING THOUGH.

What British books delight you? How has literature affected your perspective?

     

    Gathering Darkness | People are STILL Dying. I am Slightly Saddened!

    Title: Gathering Darkness (Falling Kingdoms #3)

    Author: Morgan Rhodes

    Genre: Young Adult, High Fantasy

    Published: December 9, 2015 by Razorbill 

    In GATHERING DARKNESS, book three of the New York Times bestselling Falling Kingdoms series, the stakes have never been higher as three teams push forward on a race to find the Kindred, the four elemental crystals possessing ancient all-powerful magic, first:

    Prince Magnus has just witnessed torture, death, and miracles during the bloody confrontation that decimated the rebel forces. Now he must choose between family and justice as his father, the cruel King Gaius, sets out to conquer all of Mytica. All Gaius needs now are the Kindred – the four elemental crystals that give godlike powers to their owner. But the King of Blood is not the only one hunting for this ancient, storied magic…

    • THE KRAESHIANS join the hunt. Ashur and Amara, the royal siblings from the wealthy kingdom across the Silver Sea, charm and manipulate their way to the Kindred, proving to be more ruthless than perhaps even the King of Blood himself.
    • THE REBELS forge ahead. Princess Cleo and vengeful Jonas lead them, slaying with sweetness, skill, and a secret that can control Lucia’s overpowering magic – all so they can use the Kindred to win back their fallen kingdoms.
    • THE WATCHERS follow Melenia out of the Sanctuary. They ally in the flesh with King Gaius, who vows to use Lucia’s powers to unveil the Kindred.
    The only certainty in the dark times is that whoever finds the magic first will control the fate of Mytica… but fate can be fickle when magic is involved. 

     
     

    •  I’VE BECOME MULTI-SHIPPER TRASH?! I still ship Cleo + Jonas, of course—but I also ship Magnus + Cleo. This is helpful because whatever way it ends up, I’ll be immensely pleased. Still. What is this book doing to me? I never thought I’d be that person. I don’t even know who I am anymore. *softly whispers…24601*

      

      • The plot is chocolate. With whipped cream. And cocaine. I’m a little addicted. Just a bit. There’s so much conflict—drama, intrigue, it’s the highlight of the book.
      • There’s FINALLY a death that saddens me ever so slightly. FINALLY. Before, everyone dies and I give zero craps. Now, for the one death out of many, I finally give one. (Okay, maybe it’s more like 1/4 of a crap but whatever)

        

      • There are so many dimensions and double love-triangles and etc. I know it’s to add to the intrigue, but honestly the romance is getting a little tedious. The conflict is minimal and the annoyance is great.

        

      • Both Lucia and Cleo get a bit more morally ambiguous—one much more than the other. For heaven’s sake, there’s enough evil already! I mean, I love reading about atrociously caniving imbeciles as much as the next guy, but I need at least one somewhat redeeming character!
      • The writing is REALLY starting to get on my nerves. It tries so hard to be metaphorical and lyrical, but it simply doesn’t have the rhythm. It’s awkward! It’s choppy! And when it’s not trying to be a wannabe Emily Dickinson, it throws out disgustingly clichéd lines.

        
      THE DRAMA IS ADDICTING, the book incites passion. Alas the writing is atrocious and the technical errors are plentiful.

      Is fluffy fantasy a thing? Because it is now. You’re welcome, friends.

      Do I ever write a review without a Les Miserables gif? (No. No I do not.) Are there any cocaine flavored books I should know about? (Hugs not drugs.) 

            The Love That Split the World | The Book That Split My Head {Review}

            Title: The Love That Split the World

            Author: Emily Henry

            Genre: Young Adult, Science Fiction

            Published: January 26, 2016 by Razorbill

            Natalie Cleary must risk her future and leap blindly into a vast unknown for the chance to build a new world with the boy she loves. 

            Natalie’s last summer in her small Kentucky hometown is off to a magical start… until she starts seeing the “wrong things.” They’re just momentary glimpses at first—her front door is red instead of its usual green, there’s a pre-school where the garden store should be. But then her whole town disappears for hours, fading away into rolling hills and grazing buffalo, and Nat knows something isn’t right.

            That’s when she gets a visit from the kind but mysterious apparition she calls “Grandmother,” who tells her: “You have three months to save him.” The next night, under the stadium lights of the high school football field, she meets a beautiful boy named Beau, and it’s as if time just stops and nothing exists. Nothing, except Natalie and Beau.

            Emily Henry’s stunning debut novel is Friday Night Lights meets The Time Traveler’s Wife, and perfectly captures those bittersweet months after high school, when we dream not only of the future, but of all the roads and paths we’ve left untaken. 

                

            • The “Grandmother” in this book is basically Grandmother Willow from Pocahontas. And yes, I came to this revelation before I realized the protagonist is half-Native American. Sheesh.
            • DIVERSITY BONUS POINTS! Rachel is both half-Native American and adopted. So. Yay!

              

            • This book features insta-love at its very worst. As a defender of insta-love, I find this maddeningly disappointing. There’s absolutely no chemistry, it’s simply: You’re attractive and I’m attractive so let’s get together! Ugh. Please.
            • Rachel is a plain bean. I felt like the author relied solely on the fact that her MC is diverse in order to make her interesting. Sorry, but that’s not how it works. 
            • WHAT IS THE PLOT? It took longer to move than it takes me to get the urge to exercise! Hardly anything happened until the last 50 pages, where everything happened, making it utterly confusing. Basically, the pacing is pathetic.
            • I rolled my eyes 465 times. More or less. The author tries to make everything a bigger deal than it is, which is both laughable and irritating. 

              

            Nice try, book. But you’re entirely pathetic. Sorry sorry I’m too mean.
            What insta-love romances have you found to be terribly done? 

               

              Carry On | Bohemian Rhapsody is Now Stuck in My Head. Again.

              Title: Carry On

              Author: Rainbow Rowell

              Genre: Young Adult, Fantasy (fan-fanfiction? fictional fanfiction?)

              Published: October 6, 2015 by St. Martin’s Griffin

              Simon Snow is the worst chosen one who’s ever been chosen.

              That’s what his roommate, Baz, says. And Baz might be evil and a vampire and a complete git, but he’s probably right.

              Half the time, Simon can’t even make his wand work, and the other half, he sets something on fire. His mentor’s avoiding him, his girlfriend broke up with him, and there’s a magic-eating monster running around wearing Simon’s face. Baz would be having a field day with all this, if he were here—it’s their last year at the Watford School of Magicks, and Simon’s infuriating nemesis didn’t even bother to show up.

              Carry On is a ghost story, a love story, a mystery and a melodrama. It has just as much kissing and talking as you’d expect from a Rainbow Rowell story—but far, far more monsters. 

               
               

              •   Simon Snow is a scrumptious pumpkin doodle. He is hilarious. He makes lists. He loves food. He is a complete klutz who can never do anything right. I could go on, if you’d like.
              • PENELOPE BUNCE IS HALF-INDIAN, HALF-WHITE. I am half-Indian half-white. Penelope Bunce is a fierce, intelligent (she has Indian blood, after all) wizard. Ergo, I am a fierce, intelligent wizard. This is logic.
              • The spells are just normal words. This might sound a wee bit boring at first, but it’s actually crazy clever. Words have power. Words have metaphorical magic—so all Rainbow Rowell did was give them literal magic in her fictional world. EVERYTHING’S A METAPHOR. I love it.
              • There’s an actual Bohemian Rhapsody spell in this book. First, I stood in awe at the incredibleness of this. Second, as the title of this review explains, I got the Bohemian Rhapsody stuck in my head. Easy come, easy go.
              • Rainbow Rowell’s books rolling in wit. Awkward, adorable, light-hearted wit. It is basically my goal to be Rainbow Rowell.

               

              • Okay, I understand. The whole point of Carry On was to be the fanfiction of a fictional rip-off from a fictional world (Fangirl). It’s so similar to Harry Potter in the beginning. It develops into something so unique and wonderful, but…still. Originality is so very important to me, I can’t help but be bothered.
              • The first 150 pages is just spent wondering where Baz is. Seriously. That’s it. The beginning certainly could’ve been shortened, or at least had some more drama/action/whatever in it.

                
              WITTY. ADORABLE. Wonderful, original nuances fluttering about. But the beginning? Too slow and too similar to Harry Potter.

              Who are your favorite witty characters? Have you read any truly loathsome Harry Potter rip-offs?

                  Me Before You | In Which My Heart is Wrenched From My Chest.

                  Title: Me Before You

                  Author: Jo Jo Moyes

                  Genre: Contemporary. Ball of despicable tradgedy.

                  Published: July 30, 2013 by Penguin Books

                     Lou Clark knows lots of things. She knows how many footsteps there are between the bus stop and home. She knows she likes working in The Buttered Bun tea shop and she knows she might not love her boyfriend Patrick.

                  What Lou doesn’t know is she’s about to lose her job or that knowing what’s coming is what keeps her sane.
                  Will Traynor knows his motorcycle accident took away his desire to live. He knows everything feels very small and rather joyless now and he knows exactly how he’s going to put a stop to that.
                  What Will doesn’t know is that Lou is about to burst into his world in a riot of colour. And neither of them knows they’re going to change the other for all time

                    

                  • You know your heart? That thing? This book will slowly squeeze all emotion from it. Bye bye, happiness. Nice knowing you. While this is certainly not the most pleasant feeling, it leaves me in awe that a book can do this. Do you realize how powerful this makes the author?
                  • You don’t even realize you love the characters. It just happens. One moment your life revolves around pie, the next all you can think about are these fictional people. It’s stressful and highly exhilarating.
                  • The romance is PURE EMOTION. Superficiality? There is none. There is only the goodness of a beautiful slow burn. First friendship, then something more. Then—well. You’ll have to read the book.
                  • You feel it. You feel what it’s like to paralyzed. You feel what it’s like not to be able to itch your nose, shift in your sleep, brush your hair. It’s tragic and important, what Jo Jo Moyes makes you feel.
                  • There’s a lot of moral conflict going on. While I very much didn’t like the turn out of the toil, I enjoy reading of morally wrenching questions. They amuse me.
                  • The Clark family is hilarious. That is all.

                    

                  • I was expecting something cute and up-lifting. I’m not sure why. Perhaps it was the movie trailer, maybe it was the fun font on the cover. What the story did give me wasn’t bad, it was just different. Just not what I was prepared for.
                  • Some jokes I didn’t understand. The way it was phrased or worded was utterly confusing to me. Maybe it’s a British thing? AM I NOT POSH ENOUGH?

                    

                  • I love Will, but some choices he made frustrated me SO MUCH. Particularly one choice. Ahem.

                   
                  Tragic and beautiful. Charming and cruel. This book has my heart. Still.

                  What utterly rude books have captured your emotions?

                         

                        Rebel Spring | People Keep Dying. LOL.

                         Title: Rebel Spring (Falling Kingdoms #2)

                        Author: Morgan Rhodes

                        Genre: Young Adult, Fantasy

                        Pages: 401

                        Published: December 3, 2013 by Razorbill

                        The road to power… is paved with blood and magic.

                        Cleo is now a prisoner in her own palace, forced to be an ambassador for Mytica as the evil King Gaius lies to her people.
                        Magnus stands to eventually inherit the new kingdom but is still obsessed with his feelings for his adopted sister, Lucia.

                        Lucia is haunted by the outcome of the breathtaking display of magic that allowed her father to capture the kingdoms.

                        Jonas watched at the palace gates a troop of rebels behind him, waiting for him to tell them how he plans to overtake King Gaius.

                        After a bloody siege, Auranos has been defeated, its young queen orphaned and dethroned. The three kingdoms—Auranos, Limeros, and Paelsia—are now unwillingly united as one country called Mytica. But the allure of ancient, dangerous magic beckons still, and with it the chance to rule not just Mytica, but the whole world over…
                        At the heart of the fray are four brave young people grappling for that magic and the power it promises. For Cleo, the magic would enable her to reclaim her royal seat. In Jonas’s hands, it frees his nation, and in Lucia’s, it fulfills the ancient prophecy of her destiny. And if the magic were Magnus’s, he would finally prove his worth in the eyes of his cruel and scheming father, King Gaius, who rules Mytica with a punishing hand.

                        When Gaius begins to build a road into the Forbidden Mountains to physically link all of Mytica, he sparks a long-smoking fire in the hearts of the people that will forever change the face of this land. For Gaius’s road is paved with blood, and its construction will have cosmic consequences. 

                          

                          

                        • Morgan Rhodes goes and sneakily plants bombshells on EVERY PAGE. Dull moments? There are none. Whether it be a couple more doses of intrigue or someone’s secrets exposed, drama is continuous.
                        • Here’s the thing. Cleo + Jonas is endgame, and in Rebel Spring they actually interact and OH THE CLEO + JONAS SHIPPITY SHIP SHIPPING. They are my scrumptious little cupcakes. I have heard that their ship name is Cleonius. This reminds me of a disgusting herb such as paprika or oregano. Ergo, I shall continue to declare Cleo + Jonas. 

                          

                        • People die ALL THE TIME. I’m listing this as a good thing not because I am a heartless potato, (which I am, of course) but because killing off characters is a big risk, and Morgan Rhodes does it masterfully.

                         

                        • This book is 90% rich people hate, which, as a poor little pickle, very much bothered me. They were viewed by everyone (even royalty!) to be ignorant and useless. Firstly, being rich doesn’t make you automatically stupid. Secondly, if these rich people are ignorant, maybe you can educate them instead of just mocking them, you peasants.

                          

                        • In this book, the second book in the series, it’s randomly mentioned that there are other kingdoms. IN THE SECOND BOOK. That major fact needs to be established in the first book. I mean, the other kingdoms aren’t even on the map! It’s just one pathetic little island! What is this world-building madness??
                        • Many of the characters are flat and dimensionless. They’re mostly extremes. Aron? Pathetic coward. King Gauis? Pure evil. This makes for good entertainment, but not much else. 

                          
                        The plot is delicious, dramatic perfection, but there’s a definite lack of technical polishing.

                        Read if you’re in the mood for a fluffy fantasy WHERE EVERYONE DIES.

                        Which of your favorite authors kill of all their characters?

                              Six of Crows | Hype Victim. RIP.

                              Title: Six of Crows (Six of Crows #1)

                              Author: Leigh Bardugo

                              Genre: Young Adult, Fantasy 

                              Pages: 465

                              Published: September 29, 2015 by Henry Holt and Company

                              Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone…

                              A convict with a thirst for revenge.
                              A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager.
                              A runaway with a privileged past.
                              A spy known as the Wraith.
                              A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums. 
                              A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes. 

                              Kaz’s crew are the only ones who might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first. 

                                 
                               

                               (Yes, yes, yes. You can read this book without reading the Grisha trilogy.)

                              I blame the hype. It’s so much better than the Grisha trilogy, they said. You’ll love it, they said. 

                              Okay, okay. It’s no one’s fault, really. I’m just frustrated because I spent an enormous amount of energy trying to like the book and not be so judgemental. And you know how very difficult it is for me not to be judgemental.

                               

                              There were five billion  many flashbacks. I like to live in the present. I like to carpe the diem. So when a book spends half of its pages on the backstories of five billion six of its characters, I get very upset, especially when these flashbacks occur during a very important heist.

                              Overall, it was satisfactory. The plot wasn’t bad. It had a heist—you can’t go wrong with a heist. I just wasn’t blown away like I expected. 

                                
                              Leigh Bardugo’s words are 112% quotable. For example:

                              “Better terrible truths than kind lies.”

                              And:

                              “I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brekker, or I will not have you at all.”

                              Plus:

                              “We are all someone’s monster.”

                              Despite all the scrumptious quotes, I’ve always felt that there’s something missing from Leigh Bardugo’s writing. Some indescribable polish and passion that keeps it from ranking five stars.

                                
                              There were five billion six (!!!) main characters. 

                              • Kaz. Everyone loves Kaz. It is a felony not to love Kaz. Kaz is un-un-lovable. He is probably frolicking around and pickpocketing as we speak.
                              • Inej. MY PRIDE AND JOY. Inej is a little tiny ninja who kicks booty. I am tiny, therefore one step closer to being Inej. This fills me with great joy.
                              • Nina. Everyone said she’d be sassy. I take sassy very seriously. Sassy is a privilege, we can’t be handing the title out to just anyone. Nina has yet to truly deserve this description.
                              • Matthias. Matthias hates everything. Matthias needs to chill.
                              • Jesper. Jesper is there for comic relief and not much else. He also likes guns.
                              • Wylan. Wylan is a puppy. We love Wylan.

                              SO MANY CHARACTERS. Too many characters. I mainly just cared about Kaz and Inej, so the mulitude of other persons was just annoying.

                              That being said, I REALLY loved Kaz and Inej. (I ship their little faces together SO MUCH.) I have adopted them into my family. They are officially part of the Indian-American madness.

                              The hype loved Six of Crows, unfortunately I did not. Excuse me while I bathe myself with my own tears of unpopular opinion-ness.

                              What books drowning with hype have dissapointed you?

                               

                                Falling Kindoms | People Die. A Lot. 

                                 Title: Falling Kingdoms

                                Author: Morgan Rhodes

                                Genre: Young Adult, High Fantasy

                                Pages: 412

                                Published: December 11, 2012 by Razorbill

                                  
                                So many secrets. Everything had something to hide, it was delightful! I love it when an author lets you in on a character’s secret. Because then I get to laugh at all the other characters that have no idea what’s going on. Because I’m a mean hag.

                                Anyways.

                                The plot was definitely driven by intrigue—political, romantic, etc.

                                The pacing was overall slower. Despite the abundance of drama, the story moved a little slower than it should’ve been. But it was okay for me! I’m actually learning how to be patient!

                                  
                                Meet the first line of Falling Kingdoms:

                                She’d never killed before tonight.

                                I am a collector of first lines and this one, my friend, certainly pulls you in.

                                Built for fantasy. The writing had that indescribable feel that envelopes you while reading fantasy. But, despite this, it felt a little too generic. Nothing particularly stood out, nothing made me sing with emotion.

                                  
                                Characters galore! We see through the perspectives of so many, and I loved the way Morgan Rhodes braided them all into the story. You hardly know whose side to be on, there’s a battle within yourself and it’s fascinating. 

                                They were kind of drab. Here’s the thing. Many people died, and I didn’t feel much. I didn’t feel much because they were boring, they didn’t excite me. Though I was fascinated by a couple characters, most of the characters felt that way to me—drab.

                                  

                                Drama and intruige galore! But I kind of want to be sad when people die so I don’t feel like the heartless potato I am.

                                What books filled with political intruige have you read? Are you a heartless potato like me?

                                  

                                9 spoiler-y thoughts had while reading Falling Kingdoms:

                                • Obviously Lucia isn’t Magnus’ sister, but he doesn’t know that. He’s been raised his whole life believing he’s related to her. So do his feelings for her frighten me? YES. CREEP. Frickin’ mental incest. 
                                • Aron is pathetic. He doesn’t deserve the name Aron. He taints it. 
                                • I just realized it’s Cheif Basilius and not Chef Basilius. Everything makes much more sense now.
                                • HA. This is great. Let me just slip into Morgan Rhodes’ mind for a bit: Well we don’t want a love triangle but we’re going to create the feels between Jonas and Cleo so BYE THEON! Nice knowing you!
                                • Was I supposed to be sad about Theon’s death? Oops.
                                • Magnus is an idiot. Of course he was rejected. He deserves to be rejected.
                                • First there was the hate from Jonas to Cleo, now it’s Cleo to Magnus. It’s so interesting to see how the tables have turned!
                                • I feel like if we got to know Emilia better I would be sadder that she died. But all I’m feeling right now is frustration because UGH SHE JUST GOT THE SEEDS.
                                • Bye, Chef! 

                                Who did you love or hate the most? Who are shipping? (Because for me Jonas and Cleo is endgame.)

                                  I’ve Got Your Number | It’s a Rom-Com. IN BOOK FORM.

                                  Title: I’ve Got Your Number

                                  Author: Sophie Kinsella

                                  Genre: Contemporary, ROM-COM IN BOOK FORM

                                  Pages: 433

                                  Published: Febuary 14, 2012 by The Dial Press

                                  I’ve lost it. 😦 The only thing in the world I wasn’t supposed to lose. My engagement ring. It’s been in Magnus’s family for three generations. And now the very same day his parents are coming, I’ve lost it. The very same day! Do not hyperventilate, Poppy. Stay positive 🙂 !!

                                  Poppy Wyatt has never felt luckier. She is about to marry her ideal man, Magnus Tavish, but in one afternoon her “happily ever after” begins to fall apart. Not only has she lost her engagement ring in a hotel fire drill but in the panic that follows, her phone is stolen. As she paces shakily around the lobby, she spots an abandoned phone in a trash can. Finders keepers! Now she can leave a number for the hotel to contact her when they find her ring. Perfect!

                                   Well, perfect except that the phone’s owner, businessman Sam Roxton, doesn’t agree. He wants his phone back and doesn’t appreciate Poppy reading his messages and wading into his personal life.

                                   What ensues is a hilarious and unpredictable turn of events as Poppy and Sam increasingly upend each other’s lives through emails and text messages. As Poppy juggles wedding preparations, mysterious phone calls, and hiding her left hand from Magnus and his parents . . . she soon realizes that she is in for the biggest surprise of her life.

                                    
                                  Here’s the thing, I love rom-coms. I devour them. You know what else I love? Books. You know what else I devour? Books. 

                                  I’ve Got Your Number is a rom-com in a book. Together. As one.

                                  Am I delighted? Yes. Profusely. 

                                  You know what else I love to read about? Drama. You know what else is in this book? Drama. From losing engagement rings to government scandals, it never stops. The hits just keep on coming.

                                    
                                  The writing is HILARIOUS. Sophie Kinsella manages to nail comedic timing in writing, and the scrumptious awkwardness she manages to pull out of the situations with her clever words is spectacular.

                                  However. There are footnotes. I hate footnotes. I despise them. I have a personal vendetta against footnotes. See, I’m a fast reader. So when I’m reading at 700 words per minute I just speed right by those tiny little numbers. Then I reach the bottom of the page and realize there are five footnotes I’ve missed so I have to go back and see where the numbers were to make sense of it all. 

                                  I hate footnotes.

                                    
                                  I actually found Poppy, the protagonist, to be like me in many ways. Firstly, she goes snooping in other people’s business. That is me. Ask my mom. Ask my sister. Ask my dog. Secondly, she is clueless and constantly ruining things when she tries to be nice, which is all the time. This is also me. Ask my mom. Ask my sister. Ask my dog.

                                  The ensemble of characters were all masterfully sculpted to make one big perfect rom-com cast. Humor abounds!

                                    
                                  Pure, magical rom-com goodness. But darn those footnotes.

                                  What books make you laugh? Have you added I’ve Got Your Number to your TBR yet? If not, why? Do you hate joy and laughter? Have you decided to live in misery?

                                    

                                  13 Spoiler-y thoughts had while reading I’ve Got Your Number:

                                  • I’m reading this with a British accent and it is delightful. 
                                  • Of course it’s fair game. It’s in a trash can!
                                  • No! Poppy! Those emails are private! *leans in closer to read them*
                                  • YOU OPENED WANDA’S GIFT?? I don’t care what anyone says. Second-hand embarrassment is the worst.
                                  • I know her personality is just adding to the humor of it all, but Annalise seriously bothers me. You don’t hit on your best friend’s fiancé. You just don’t.
                                  • Poppy. Do. Not. Send. Those. Emails.
                                  • Poppy keeps saying “Fire away.” Ergo, I now have Hit Me With Your Best Shot stuck in my head. Thanks, Poppy!
                                  • IT’S LUCINDA.
                                  • Wow. Sam’s very thorough with those graphs. Perhaps he can be the Watson to my Sherlock.
                                  • HA. I WAS RIGHT. IT’S LUCINDA.
                                  • Aw, Wanda’s sweet. It’s not her fault her son’s a lying, cheating, etc.
                                  • And they all lived happily ever after!

                                  Who’s your favorite character in I’ve Got Your Number? Did you guess Lucinda too? Did you hate Annalise too?

                                    Jackaby | The Cover Was Entrancing, The Story Was Not

                                    Title: Jackaby (Jackaby #1)

                                    Author: William Ritter

                                    Publication Date: September 14, 2014

                                    Number of Pages: 299

                                    Genre: Young Adult, Historical Fiction, Supertanural, Mystery  

                                    Newly arrived in New Fiddleham, New England, 1892, and in need of a job, Abigail Rook meets R. F. Jackaby, an investigator of the unexplained with a keen eye for the extraordinary–including the ability to see supernatural beings. Abigail has a gift for noticing ordinary but important details, which makes her perfect for the position of Jackaby’s assistant. On her first day, Abigail finds herself in the midst of a thrilling case: A serial killer is on the loose. The police are convinced it’s an ordinary villain, but Jackaby is certain it’s a nonhuman creature, whose existence the police–with the exception of a handsome young detective named Charlie Cane–deny.

                                    Doctor Who meets Sherlock in William Ritter’s debut novel, which features a detective of the paranormal as seen through the eyes of his adventurous and intelligent assistant in a tale brimming with cheeky humor and a dose of the macabre.

                                     

                                    Potential abounds! Sherlock Holmes meets Doctor Who—nonstop action and dark mystery. There’s so much room for imagination!

                                    No. Not in Jackaby, there isn’t.

                                    I found the mystery featured in the book to be altogether drab. It had no flair or suspense, it was your typical unoriginal series of murders. It had none of the entrancing pizzazz the classic Sherlock Holmes novels feature.

                                      

                                    The pacing was drab too. It took decades for one thing to happen. Then when something finally did happen, the protagonist would ponder and analyze it for decades more.
                                    Hints of charm and wit throughout. You could see a trace of the lovely personality of the original Sherlock floating through the pages. Thank goodness! It would all be a flop if it weren’t for that.

                                      

                                    Old-timey and fitting. It certainly matched the story with words like posh and bugger off and tea.
                                    But was it that Jane Austen delicious sort of old? No. ‘Twas not. It was generic old-timey writing, the kind you find in every unoriginal historical fiction novel in the WORLD.

                                      
                                    Let’s talk about our main character Abigail Rook for a minute. She wants to break free of the bindings society has on women. Great! Yay women empowerment! Except she is the same female protagonist you find in every generic historical fiction novel. Every. Single. One. Someone could put in some originality. Someone could write about a girl who likes dresses and also uses her intelligence, charm and wit to move up the ranks. Oh, wait, we couldn’t do that! That’s far too creative!

                                    I didn’t sign up for this new Sherlock. You know what I love? A sleuth who uses sharp intelligence and clever deductive skills to solve crimes. You know what I don’t love? A detective who just sees the supernatural. Guess which one was featured in this book? Correct. Supernatural. How ever did you guess?

                                    Jackaby’s personality was fun, though! He had all the cluelessness and droll comedy a Sherlcok requires.

                                      
                                    Generic. Unoriginal. Lack of imagination, lack of creativity. 

                                    Only hints of humor and wit save the book from my crucification of it.

                                    But the cover is gorgeous look.

                                    What generic books/characters drive you crazy?