Dancing With the Stars: Bookish Edition!

Dancing With the Stars! Cha Cha! Waltz! Jive!


I mean, haven’t you ever asked yourself: which bookish stars would be on DWTS? And who ever would their partners be?

Thank goodness my astoundingly intelligent and imaginative brain is here to answer such questions. You’re welcome.

Harry Potter & Allison Holker

After, you know, living, Harry’s got to do something else to keep his fame up.

Oh look! DWTS! How convenient!

And since poor Harry grew up without a mother, who better to partner with than the motherly Allison Holker!

Celaena Sardothien & Maksim Chmerkovskiy

While it might not be the safest idea to combine Maks’ temper and an actual assassin, it sure would make for good TV!



Captain Thorne & Jenna Johnson

Well, well, well! Wouldn’t this be quite the humorous, youthful pair!

And after saving the world and all, I’m sure our favorite captain would love to test his flirting dancing skills.

Katniss Everdeen & Derek Hough

Our “cheery” Hunger Games champion would surely love to participate in a competition that doesn’t involve fighting to the death!

And there would certainly be some spicy entertainment watching Katniss attempt to maim Derek Hough while he continues to be the perfect gentleman. Spicy indeed.

Albus Dumbledore & Emma Slater

Dumbledore needs a break from all that headmaster-ing, doesn’t he?? And who better to help him through DWTS than Emma Slater! (a.k.a. the one who gets that one old guy every time)

Kestrel Trajan & Artem Chigvintsev

According to the blurb of The Winner’s Curse, Kestrel has two options: join the army or get married.


There’s also Dancing With the Stars! And there’s no one like the kind and noble Artem to tango with the sly and sweet Kestrel.

Apollo & Lindsay Arnold

Has Apollo got anything better to do than dance?

Well, since being forbidden from Mount Olympus and de-godded by Zeus, NO.

So it’d sure be fun to watch Apollo stare at himself in the mirror while Lindsay tries to actually teach him how to waltz!

Andie Walker & Sasha Faber

Sooner or later, our dear Andie’s going to have to do something other than walking dogs.


She can quick step right out of being the politician’s daughter and right into winning DWTS. And since poor Sasha has yet to win the mirror ball trophy, he needs a real competitive spirit to help him get there.

Mark Watney & Cheryl Burke

I mean, if you can survive on Mars, you can survive DWTS, right?

Humph. Well. Maybe with Cheryl Burke by your side!

America Singer & Gleb Savenchko


Now America can add Gleb to the list of men she can’t decide if she wants to marry and we can want to kill her EVEN MORE :))

Percy Jackson & Witney Carson

Sure, Percy can defeat the Titans and save Mount Olympus, but dancing?? Maybe not one of his talents…

Whether he wins or not, Witney’ll be sure that he has a jolly ‘ol time!

Princess Winter & Valentin Chmerkovisky

Princess Winter is…well…a bit…


Val, however, is very much grounded in reality. And with Winter’s graceful princessness, they’ve got a sure chance for winning!

William Herondale & Sharna Burgress

William Snark + Sharna Snark = LOTS OF SCRUMPTIOUS SNARK

William Dancing + Sharna Dancing = LOTS OF SCRUMPTIOUS DANCING


What Bookish DWTS partner are you rooting for? Are there any other famous bookish folks you can think of? And which REAL Dancing With the Stars team do you think will win the mirror ball trophy?

The Complete and Very Scientific Analysis of the Bookish Brain!

The brain of the bookish monster is a mysterious and dangerous force. But, the mighty ME has decided to take a step towards the betterment of mankind and analyze the bookish brain. HOW???



Analysis of the Right Bookish Brain!

  • 18% Creating stupendous insults to be applied to book haters. The perks to avid readership are plentiful, but the very best is an incredible collection of imaginative insults! These insults can then be creamed in the faces of the nastiest book haters. Yahoo!


  • 26% Re-decorating bookshelves into THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ART. Every bookworm is an artist. A bookshelf artist, specifically. From color codes to stacked constructions (definitely as architecturally significant as the Eiffel Tower and the Great Wall of China), beautiful bookshelves are not to be undermined.
  • 53% Trying to make everyone ever read their favorite book. There is nothing lonelier than devouring a magical and devilish darling tale ALL BY YOURSELF. Ergo, a bookworm spends much of their time endeavoring to convert friends to their most beloved book. This, chums, is far more difficult than it seems. It takes a talented tumbling of words to give an alluring synopsis and a great physical strength to slam books into people’s faces. LOTS OF CREATIVE PLANNING, MY FRIENDS.


  • 167631% Relocating to their favorite bookish worlds. Reality is dumb. Books are not.


Analysis of the Left Bookish Brain!

  • 21% Measuring how many more books they can buy before another bookshelf must be purchased. Lots of books = lots of bookshelves. If you’re a poor bookworm, it’s all good. Just use your bed, kitchen cabinets, bathtub, TV stand, BASICALLY EVERYTHING as a bookshelf.
  • 38% Tallying the number of pages they can sneak in between classes/through work. Reading is a grave commitment. Is there ever a suitable excuse for not reading? NO. Got school? Tough luck. 5 minutes between classes = 5 minutes of reading.


  • 59% Calculating how much money they can spend on books. A.k.a. basically the only math a bookworm will ever use.
  • 4465384% Teaching other bookworms bookish tips and tricks. The book community is full of helpful buddies! There’s always logical and analytical posts floating around, helping chums to become better bookworms.

Did I accurately analyze your adorable little bookish brain? HA what a silly question of course I did it’s SCIENCE. But what else is swirling around in your right and left hemisphere?



BOOKISH MYTHBUSTERS: Bookworm Stereotypes

“Normal” people have sure got some funky ideas about bookworms.

But don’t fret, friends! That’s what Bookish MythBusters is for. This bi-monthly feature created by the lovely, vivacious ME will clear up those odd bookish legends.

Today’s mission? The Bookworm Stereotypes!

Myth #1: Bookworm’s Don’t Talk to People

HAHAHAHA. Well, not if we can help it, no.

But really, bookworms don’t just read all the books. We chat about the books, gossip about the books, cackle about the books, sob about the books, scream about the books, WE TALK ABOUT THE BOOKS. WITH PEOPLE.

I mean, what do you think the 56, 681, 115,137 book bloggers (this number is accurate there was a study and everything google it) do with their blog?? Eat it?

So yes, bookworms are all:


But we’re also all about the:


img_0787Myth #2: Bookworm’s Utter with the Supremest Terminology

Okay but how did this myth even come to exist? Let’s take a look at some of the eloquent utterances of a couple of readers after finishing their latest reads:

Oh yes, we bookworms are very expressive.


What?! That’s not true! We totally eat and occasionally sleep too! Sometimes we even brush our teeth.

Time to face reality, bud. Reader’s can possess a whole array of interests! And if it’s evidence you desire, search no further:

We  ❤ our books, but we  ❤ our numerous other passions too.


Myth #4: Bookworms are Super Duper Smart!

Yes! We are! That’s what happens when  you read! Thanks for noticing! No MythBusting needed here, coconut!

What Bookish MythBusting posts do you request? Any bookworm stereotypes you hate? Any you LOVE? What assumptions have people made about your bookish life?

LIBRARIES!!! Why Do We Hate ‘Em? {Pros + Myths Busted}


Bookworms: I have zero dollars and zero cents.

Libraries: It’s okay! You can read this book! All the books! FOR FREE!



Bookworms, including my fabulous self, loooooove to complain about being broke. But do we just wander over to our local library and happily borrow a book? Nope! We just continue complaining 🙂

So why? Now, before we examine the bookworm’s brain, let’s list the reasons why you SHOULD love your bodacious library!

  • THE BOOKS ARE FREER THAN THE AMERICAN SOUL. No cash. No stress. Just you and your words.
  • If you began a bookish journey and end it in a state of bitter terror at what you have just read, no worries! The evil book won’t mock you from your shelves, you can just return it. And you’ve not wasted a cent from that precious piggy bank of yours.
  • The environment. I don’t believe there is a place upon God’s green earth more vibrantly blissful than a library. Stacked and scattered books, boisterous calm, it’s simply the perfect place to learn and explore new worlds.

  • Free internet access! Now I know what you’re thinking, Becca, you’re a nutty coconut, I have Internet access at home! Okay! Cool! But sit that sweet, privileged little booty of yours down, because you, like me, are lucky. A poor child needs the library to complete  homework, a homeless man needs the library to apply for a job. Do you want the poor and homeless to be education-less and homeless forever? No? SUPPORT YOUR LIBRARY!!
  • Every library book has a vivacious history. And you don’t even know what it is! But that only stimulates your imagination—maybe a giggling, gossipy girl read excerpts to her chums at lunch, perhaps a grandmother from Egypt glided through this novel with gumption along side her grandkids. Isn’t that incredible? The conversations others have had with books? 
  • It’s not just about books, there are bounds of clubs and activities! From writing classes to coding lessons, you will neverrrrrr be bored!

  • Myth #1: Authors don’t benefit if you check their book out of the library.

Uh…no? This just isn’t true! I’ll just let bestselling author Maggie Stiefvater set ya straight:

  • Myth #2: All the library stuff is 27282% free!

Yes. To the reader. But the library has to buy the books through funds that keep on decreasing. 

So do your library a favor! Simply checking out a book helps a loooooot.

Due to my bookishness and supposedly incredible analyzing skills, I have taken the task of analyzing the bookish opinions on libraries. Yay me!

  • Reason 1: Bookworms are very possessive creatures and very much like to keep ALL THE BOOKS. 
  • Reason 2: Library books are often in painful conditions, and “OCD” bookworms just can’t take it. (But remember, friends, it’s the quality of the words that make up the worth of the book, not the quality of the spine)
  • Reason 3: Bookworms are forgetful fiends and can’t be bothered with remembering when to return a book.
  • Reason 4: Ahh, good ‘ol laziness. You have to go alllll the way to the library to get a book then alllll the way back again to return it. It’s simply not convenient, and bookworms can’t be bothered with that mess.

Basically: Possessiveness, “OCD”, Forgetfullness, Laziness.

So…everything keeping us bookworms from libraries are essentially negative traits. Whoops!

So I call on you, my bookish nutters, to improve on your “faults,” help out your community, and support a magical organization that MUST NOT DIE.

Or, I mean, do whatever you want. It’s your life.

What do you adore/despise about libraries? What are your bookish faults? Did you already have thes library myths busted? What are some other library myths you feel must be corrected? CHAT WITH ME, BUDDIES!

All the Ugly and Wonderful Things | OH LORD JESUS, FIX IT

Title: All the Things Ugly and Wonderful

Author: Bryn Greenwood

Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary

Published: August 9, 2016 by Thomas Dunne Books (Nice chums who sent me this book for a HONEST review!)

As the daughter of a meth dealer, Wavy knows not to trust people, not even her own parents. Struggling to raise her little brother, eight-year-old Wavy is the only responsible “adult” around. She finds peace in the starry Midwestern night sky above the fields behind her house. One night everything changes when she witnesses one of her father’s thugs, Kellen, a tattooed ex-con with a heart of gold, wreck his motorcycle. What follows is a powerful and shocking love story between two unlikely people that asks tough questions, reminding us of all the ugly and wonderful things that life has to offer.

NOPE. NO THANK YOU. I was living a very fine and holy life before this book, thankyouverymuch.

I’M A TOUGH READER OKAY. I can take a lot of things in literature. Severed heads on golden pillows. Poison burning a person from the inside out, melting fair skin and other useful organs. You know, the usual.


Ugh, where to begin??

  • Honestly how Wavy was represented was pretty darn annoying. I feel like Bryn Greenwood was trying to make her “quirky” but no??? She’s mentally not ok! I mean, she’s been living with an abusive mother and a father that’s a meth dealer! That’s not quirky! 
  • Wavy’s whole childhood sucks. Like…too much. You can tell the author’s just trying to tempt your pity and she goes extremelyyyy overboard. It’s just exhausting reading about how every single aspect of Wavy’s life is sooooOoooOoo awful.

  • We were promised some brother-sister relationship love WHICH WE DID NOT GET. So basically, Wavy raises her little brother, THEN HE IS MENTIONED IN LIKE TWO PAGES. Sibling relationships are scarcely detailed in YA, and this book had the perfect opportunity to fix that! But it failed. Atrociously.

  • Now let’s get down to the TRUTH. To the real problem I had with this book. Sooo the story gives you something pure, sweet, and innocent. Then it brings up those sculpting little hands and twists it into something broken and disturbed. How? Well, towards the beginning of the book, Wavy and Kellen have this charming sibling-y friendship. Then, halfway through, it shifts. They become romantically involved. What’s the big deal, you inquire? Oh, pfft, nothing. Except that Wavy is 13 and Kellen is 25ish.

    If you’re still questioning why I gifted this book with only one-star, here is a book recommendation for you: The Word of the Lord Our Savior

    Chums! Excuse me for that rant! What one-star reads have you been burdened with this year?

    Also, what books with “unpopular” topics have you read? How did you view them? Was it a) wow my eyes are totally opened to the world or b) JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL?

    Book Nerd Bites #2 | Baking Wizardry with HARRY POTTER :D

    Welcomeeee, Ladies and Gentlemen, to the original monthly feature: Book Nerd Bites! And let’s not forget the creators, the wonderful Cyra, the lovely Kristie, the magical Natasha, the bodacious Valerie, and me, Becca (!) as part of the Book Blogger Creativity Project hosted by Nori of ReadWriteLove28. Every month we’ll be sharing recipes to the most savory dishes inspired by our favorite books. Join in, chums! Just make sure you link back to our post and use #booknerdbites on social media 🙂


    No joke, chums! It’s within you! And if you flip through page upon page of Harry Potter, you’ll find that countless creamy and scrumptious inspirations lie waiting. 

    So find yourself an enchanted pair of cooking gloves, because today we’re making Golden Snitch Cake Pops!!

    • One box of good ‘ol cake mix (flavor of your choice)
    • Eggs, oil, or whatever your cake mix requires to bake that cake 😀
    • A spoonful or two of frosting (vanilla is my favorite, but choose whatever floats your boat)
    • Butterscotch chips
    • White chocolate chips
    • Lollipop sticks/Bamboo skewers
    • Wax paper

    1. First, put your white chocolate chips on the stove, and watch them magically melt before your very eyes! 
    2. Then, trace the melted chips into wing shapes on wax paper. Let them cool and harden (magically) in the fridge.
    3. Bake that cake! Just follow the instructions on the cake mix box.
    4. TIME FOR SOME MAGICAL FUN! Crumble that cake right up in a bowl.
    5. Mix in one or two spoonfuls of frosting till the cake can be molded into balls. DON’T GO OVERBOARD.
    6. Mold the cake-frosting-mix-thing (I’ve certainly got a magical way with words!) into ping-pong sized balls. 
    7. Place the balls onto their sticks/skewers then into the fridge to firm themselves. Magically, of course.
    8. Now, melt the butterscotch chips. Careful, such magic can leave young wizards in a state of shock. 
    9. Dip the cake pops into the melted butterscotch. Yuuuuuum!
    10. Stick the white chocolate wings into your cake pops before the butterscotch is dry.
    11. Stick those babies in the fridge to commence the magic cooling process.


    There’s no doubt about it, you’re a baking wizard! These cake pops will magically, ya know, just somehow just fly right into your mouth. It must be magic, really.

    What Harry Potter themed snacks have you devoured? What’s your favorite food mentioned in the series? Are there any other book-inspired baked goods you’ve got in mind?

    The Reality of Life With Book Commitment Issues {Plus Step-by-Step Recovery}

    {Disclaimer: This post is 89% satire, 24% Disney gifs, 5% seriousness and intelligence. Hahahaha just kidding. We’re all mad here.}

    Hi, my name is Becca and I’ve been suffering from Book Commitment Issues (BCI) for ninety-eight years.

    But I now know that I’m not alone. Readers across the world are pushing past this disorder, and we can too. But first, you must know if you’ve really got BCI. How can you tell? Not to worry chums, the questionnaire below will certainly shed some light on the subject.

    • Discover a beautiful novel at the bookstore, but decide to borrow it from the library rather than buy it, despite your overflowing wallet.
    • Take an eon or two before choosing which book to read after an enormous haul.
    • Wait until you’re halfway through a book before reluctantly listing it in your Goodreads’ Currently Reading pile.
    • Skim through the beginning of several books before deciding which one to dedicate your time to.

    If you’ve done one or more of the actions listed above, I’m afraid to tell you, you’ve got BCI. But don’t panic! No panicking necessary! Just follow my step-by-step recovery below.

    Congratulations! If you’re reading this post, you’ve already completed step one. You know you’ve got a problem—that you are currently powerless to BCI—and now you’re ready to punch that problem in the face.


    Violence is not the answer.

    Don’t let BCI control your bookish life! 

    1. Grab book.
    2. Right now.
    3. Open book.
    4. Read book.
    5. Ignore BCI.
    6. Finish book.
    7. Yay.

    The road to recovery starts with one book, my friend.

    Let’s think back to our questionnaire. It lists all the symptoms of BCI, and so, we must erase them. Once the symptoms are gone, the disorder is gone. I think.

    • Go out to a bookstore and buy that book you want. No borrowing. Spend your money! It’s fun!
    • Grab a book from your book haul pile, and read it RIGHT FREAKIN’ NOW.
    • As soon as you start a book, list it on Goodreads. Commitment is key.
    • Start a book, then finish it. Read or do not read, there is no skimming.

    You’ve done it! You’ve defeated BCI! And, uh, if you haven’t…um…

    Do you suffer from BCI? Not after this post, I hope! Though this post is entirely satirical, ‘Book Commitment Issues’ are still soooooo annoying. How to you cope with it and/or cure it? 
    Also, which Disney gif is your favorite? I simply can’t decide.

    Any other readerly problems you’d like me *pats back* to cure?

      Favorite Starbucks Drink in Hand? There’s a Book Genre to Match!

      Finding your favorite Starbucks drink is easy enough, but searching for a book genre to match? Why, Quantam Physics is practically simpler!

      Not to fear, chums. My handy list is about to make your life much easier, much sweeter, and much more caffeinated.

      Are you a fan of that bursting bubble of icy sweetness in your mouth? Then why not have the same flavor in your books!

      Some fluffy contemporary books are for you, friend! 

      If you crave a sohpistcated drink with a subtle sweetness, have a taste of a few historical fiction books. 

      When your literature takes you into history, it often soaks you in intelligence and romance as well.

      Mmm, the warmth and comfort of the white chocolate mocha leads your taste buds on an bursting, heated adventure as you sit by the fire.

      Do you know how to mimic such emotions? Just read a high fantasy novel! 

      Night and day, you crave a serious and intense taste that can keep up with your mind. Not to fear, chums. Horror is the genre for you!

      You’d like something cold and strong, of course, but with a touch of sweetness, of humor. 

      That’s why you’ve been made for the supernatural genre!

      What genre shall you be reading next thanks to this amazing, holy, worship-worthy helpful list? Or is it the other way around, do you have a couple new Starbucks drinks to order? What would you choose to complete this list? Have your read any of the books featured or drunken and drinks listed? 

      YA Book Workout (Bookish Brain + Bookish Biceps = UNSTOPPABLE FORCE)

      Let’s have a little talk about bookworms.

      Superhuman reading powers? We’ve always had ’em.

      Finger and hand strength from holding up hardcovers for HOURS? Yup. 

      But other than that, many of us don’t get much excercie. Nothing to be ashamed of, since excercie is stupid and sweaty and reading and lots of food is much better.

      NOT TO FEAR MY BOOKISH FRIENDS! I found a handy solution: YA Book Workouts!

      Basically, you can read and gain abs AT THE SAME TIME. Is this not the best thing?? Are you super duper intrigued?? Then, please chums, see below. 🙂

      • No way! Main character female? And white? I’m stunned! 10 squats
      • OMG! Main character is different? So special? OMG! Who knew?? 20 jumping jacks
      • Aww boy who loveth her! 30 second plank 
      • Loveth boy’s eyes are described! (Spoiler: THEY ARE BLUE AND DREAMY) 10 sit-ups
      • Parents dead, of course. How else would main character have such maturity and independence? 30 second wall-sit
      • REVOLUTION:D 15 crunches
      • OMG!! Another boy loveth main character?! How will she choooooose??? 15 bicycles 
      • Main character chooses. (Spoiler: it’s loveth boy #1) 10 lunges
      • Main character saves the world! Everyone is super surprised! Except every reader! Literally no reader is surprised! 15 push-ups

      Now go forth, my children. Pick up a YA book and try it. Go ahead. You’d be amazed at the muscles you’ll gain just by reading!

      Have you got more brains or biceps? You’ve got both now, right? What are your favorite/most hated YA tropes? Favorite exercises? Chat away, chums!

      The Unexpected Everything | Actually I Expected Everything…BUT PUPPIES :D

      Title: The Unexpected Everything

      Author: Morgan Matson

      Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary 

      Published: May 3, 2016 by Simon and Schuster

      Andie has a plan and she always sticks to the plan. 

      Future? A top tier medical school. 

      Dad? Avoid as much as possible (which isn’t that hard considering he’s a Congressman and never around). 

      Friends? Palmer, Bri, and Toby – pretty much the most awesome people on the planet, who needs anyone else? 

      Relationships? No one’s worth more than three weeks. 

      So it’s no surprise she’s got her summer all planned out too.

      Until a political scandal cancels her summer pre-med internship, and lands both her and Dad back in the same house for the first time in years. Suddenly she’s doing things that aren’t Andie at all – working as a dog walker, doing an epic scavenger hunt with her dad and maybe, just maybe, letting the super cute Clark in closer than expected. Palmer, Bri and Toby tell her to embrace all the chaos, but here’s the thing … can she?

      • DRAMA. YES. GIMME. While being part of drama can be extremely exhausting, spectating on it is absolutely scrumptious. This book has lots and lots and will probably lead to drama-withdrawal once you finish. Sorry, chums. 🙂
      • Friendship!  Kumbaya! YUMYUM! Basically 3829% of YA books ignore friendship because I mean why would teens need to read about that obviously it’s much more important that they learn how to describe the eyes of someone they love in the most horrifically semi-romantic way possibly pffftttt…BUT SERIOUSLY. Morgan Matson loves to include themes of friendship in her book and they are so delightful! From the fuzzy wuzzy moments to ALL THE DRAMA, The Unexpected Everything really highlights the importance of friendship.
      • Family! Ohana! YESYES! Another thing Morgan Matson so spectacularly includes in her books are family relationships. In this book, Andie starts out basically estranged from her workaholic father, but then they really start developing a super sweet relationship and mmmmmm it warms my little heart right up.

      • GUYS THERE ARE DOGS. LOTS OF DOGS. Because Andie is a dog walker. What do I love? Dogs. What am I? A dog walker. Well, isn’t this coincidence just delicious, chums.
      • There’s a bestselling author who wrote his first book at fifteen…FIFTEEN. Basically, authors that become famous at a young age are my favorite, ergo, this book includes my favorite. How considerate of it!
      • Andie learns how to be a little less planned and a little more spontaneous. THIS. This is what I want to read in contemporaries! Mainly because the idea of being spontaneous delights me! However, sitting on the couch eating also delights me and this is generally what I end up doing…

      • The plot as a whole was…disappointing. Every twist was absolutely expected. And the plot didn’t have much of a direction at all. It was a little mindless and wandering. Were a lot of the pointless bits enjoyable? Sure! But let me tell ya: they sure would’ve been a lot more enjoyable if they formed an actual plot.
      • Let’s talk about realism for a minute. Andie walks five dogs at once in the book. NO ONE WALKS FIVE DOGS AT ONCE UNLESS THEY HAVE SUPERNATURAL DOG POWERS. Let’s say you can control five dogs. (who more than likely all want to wander to different places at once) Okay, cool! But how are you going to control five dogs at once and scoop their poop? Or when they all want to chase a squirrel? I’m a dog walker, so I feel like I’m qualified to say that a teenage girl walking five dogs at once is virtually impossible and definitely ridiculous unless you are Daniel Radcliffe.

      • Don’t hate me…but I was not in loooooove with the romance. It was sweet! It was SO SWEET! But I didn’t really feel any passion or any real this couple needs to stay together or else emotions. I was neutral about it. Which is okay. But okay doesn’t make a five star book.

      Sure, the title is plenty misleading. But oh boy, it’s a super sweet story! 

      Also. PUPPIES. 😀

      What spiffy summer reads do you have to recommend? DO YOU LOVE PUPPIES?? YES. YOU LOVE PUPPIES. EVERYONE LOVES PUPPIES. YOU MUST LOVE PUPPIES. I WILL MAKE YOU LOVE PUPPIES, HEARTLESS FIEND. Ahem. So. Do you like kittens?